I've looked at ETIS a couple times after successfully getting my approach lights disabled (dark mode), and it still shows the original build number for my BCM. It seems to me like ETIS is not a reliable way to verify that BCM has been updated. If you have the scan tool and software, give it a shot yourself before wasting more time with dealers, IMO. Disable the setting (called Approach Lights in FORScan) and save the changes, etc, then verify that the lights stay off. If they don't, change the setting back to enabled and bring it to the next dealer - but, if the BCM actually is updated, it should work for you.